15 Minute Religious Challenge

Most of you who frequently read my blog may be insulted by what I am about to say, but I feel it necessary to set the record straight. As you know, I am a mother, wife, entrepreneur, soccer mom, sometime girl scout leader, and I am fighting a very rare cancer. I am also, for those of you who do not know, a Christian. A devout Christian and I love worshipping the Lord. I am not a Saint, by no means, but I do try my very best to live up to His expectations. I am telling you all this now because my Pastor has issued a challenge to us. My pastor has asked us to start giving the first 15 minutes of every day to the Lord. Give our maker, our forgiver, the one who gave us His only son to deliver us from our sins, 15 minutes a day to just be still, pray, talk to Him, and truly listen. When my pastor first asked us to do this—to accept this challenge—I was a little taken aback. I did not fear the challenge itself, but I was afraid that I might not be able to sustain the challenge and let myself down, my church, my family, and Lord. Then I realized this…These 15 minutes are strictly between me and my Lord. No one else needs to know anything about my daily conversation with the Lord. So if I go a day or two without keeping this commitment, the only people I would be letting down are me and the Lord Himself. I would never intentionally do anything to let my Father down, that includes my father in the living flesh, and especially my Father up in the Heavens. With this in mind, I decided to accept this very important, yet slightly intimidating challenge.

I have “signed on” for quite a few challenges before (including weight loss challenges), but I never won. Part of the reason why I never won was because I could never follow through to the end. For one reason or another I would always drop out of the challenge. I made excuse after excuse for why I could not continue in the challenge because I was so ashamed of falling behind. It was not until I began thinking about this 15 minute challenge that I realized that the only person I ever let down was myself. I may have fooled a lot of people, but the only people I really hurt and really let down was myself and the Lord. He has always had faith in me even when others did not…even when I did not. This time will be different. I am telling you all this, because my blog will no longer be strictly limited to parenting success anymore. From this day forward, you will start to see some blog posts regarding my 15 minutes with the Lord. This include articles, excerpts from our conversation, quotes from the Bible, etc. If you are not a Christian or do not believe the Lord is our Saviour and that God gave his only son (Jesus) to us for forgiveness of our sins (past, present, and future), then you may not like my blog as much anymore. I hate to lose any readers but I do understand if you are offended by religious posts that you will no longer continue to read my blog. Hopefully there won’t be too many of you leaving. For those of you who are staying, please feel free to ask questions or make comments about anything you see or read. I promise to publish all comments or questions to the blog so that everyone will know what everybody else is thinking or feeling.

The blog posts that pertain to the Bible or the 15 minutes I spent with the Lord will start off with the subject line of, “Toni’s Interpretation of the Bible -------“ For example, my blog post today would read, “Toni’s interpretation of the Bible—Psalm 3:4 which reads “With my voice I cry to the Lord, and He hears and answers me out of His holy hill. In this portion of the Bible, King David is between a rock and a hard place. David has to decide between losing his kingdom AND his life, or he would lose his son. He seeks help and advice from the Lord. I have been in situations similar to the one King David is rustling with. They might not be as crushing as David’s, but in my heart I was torn between what to do. What I need to remember and never forget is that I should always seek guidance from the Lord. I should take my problems to the Lord and truly believe in my heart of hearts that He will tell me how to handle the situation. The trick here is , YOU MUST BELIEVE. You cannot have any doubt, you have to truly believe that once you take your problem to the Lord and lay it out on the table, you are done. The Lord will handle that problem or He will tell YOU how to handle that problem IF you believe in him.

Let Go And Let God
Have a Happy and Blessed Day, and Enjoy Your New Year. May all your wishes come through in 2010.

Sincerely,
Toni

My Daughter Taylor

Taylor is a well-rounded fifth grader at her Elementary School. There are a lot of great things that can be said about Taylor as she has a good heart, a loving spirit, and really does not have a mean bone in her body. She is an outstanding big sister to her baby brother and baby sister and can be found assisting with homework and household chores almost every day of the week. At her church she is a candle lighter, junior usher, and confirmation class attendee.

On Wednesday, November 18 she was formally inducted into the National Honor Society's Junior Beta Club at her school. Taylor is a straight A student and was recognized not only for her academic achievements but also for her character and citizenship and willingness to always go above and beyond in school. She is also a cheerleader at her school and attends a special program sponsored by LockHeed Martin for exceptional students called “LM Smarts”. On Friday, November 19 we received a Gold Sealed Invitation formally announcing Taylor's invitation to attend the annual "Junior National Young Leaders Conference" in Washington D.C. The nomination indicated that "As a result of your outstanding academic achievements and demonstrated leadership potential, you were selected to represent her school and the state of Georgia at the Junior National Young Leaders Conference to be held this spring 2010 in Washington, D.C.” She was nominated by her current fifth grade teacher, her fourth grade teacher as well as the Principal.

We are very proud of Taylor for her performances in school, in church, and even at home. You could not ask for a more caring child. We have been blessed with her and cannot wait to continue to see her grow into the wonderful and talented young lady she will become.

Will You Be Allowed into the Kingdom of Heaven

Will You Be Allowed Into the Kingdom of Heaven?

Jesus says in Matthew 7:21-23, "Not everyone who says to Me, Lord, Lord, shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of my Father in heaven. Many will say to Me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, and cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name? And then will I declare to them, I never knew you, depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness".

A lot of Christians are under the mistaken belief that by going to church and doing a few good deeds here and there that they will automatically be allowed into the gates of Heaven. Getting saved and accepting Jesus Christ as your savior is also not a guarantee that you will be allowed into Heaven either. In the passage above, it indicates that many people who arrive at the gates of heaven w ho have prophesied, cast out demons and even done a lot of wonders in the name of Jesus may still be told that they are not worthy of entering into Heaven. This can be a little confusing to most of us because most of us grew up thinking from childhood that if we are good, accept Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, and become saved that we will undoubtedly be allowed into heaven. Throw in a few good deeds here and that would definitely solidify our entrance. This may come as a shock to most people (including me).

In our lifetimes, God will ask us to do various things for Him and in His name. That little voice that whispers to you when to do the right thing could actually be God giving you a command. Volunteering your time, spreading the word of God to a lost soul, comforting a loved one or even helping a total stranger—all of these could be God asking you to carry out an act in His name. God is a forgiving God, but when he asks you to do something you have to carry out that act the way he asks you to do it and when he asks you to do it. If you carry out his will whenever he asks then when you do arrive at Heaven’s gate, you will not be castaway as someone who never knew the Lord.

There will be a lot of people arriving at the gates confident they have done good in this lifetime and will be allowed into the Kingdom of Heaven but will be turned away because they did not do the Lord’s will. Are you sure you will be accepted into the gates of Heaven? Have you done everything the Lord has asked you to do? On judgement day, we will all have to stand at the gates of Heaven and be judged individually. The worst thing in the world would be to be told by the Lord, “Depart from Me, I never knew you". As of this writing I myself am not quite sure I have done everything asked of me…wait, I take that back. I am pretty sure I have not done every single thing asked of me but that was before I developed my own personal relationship with the Lord. I was a believer, Saved, and worshipped the Lord but it was not until recently that I began to truly understand what is expected of me and how to hear the Lord speaking to me. From here on out I will listen closely to that inner voice and guess what, you can too. It is never too late to change and it is never too late to ask for forgiveness.

If you are a lost soul, if you do not have a strong personal relationship with the Lord, if you are not sure you will be allowed into the gates of Heaven—I encourage you to join a church no matter how big or how small. Church is where I was finally able to truly cultivate my relationship with the Lord. I love my church, and I am sure you will come to love yours too.

Health Update

Hi--I know it has been a little bit since I gave you an update so I will try to briefly tell you what is going on. As you know, I was diagnosed with a very rare type of cancer on August 28 of this year. This cancer, VIPoma, only strikes one in ten million people. The only chance for survival is if they can locate the tumor and remove it. If that is done successfully, I will still need to be tested every few months for the rest of my life to check and see if the tumor has come back (which it usually does). So far I have undergone every type of CT Scans, MRIs, Radiation Scans, Colonoscopy, and Endoscopy Outpatient surgeries in an effort for the doctors and surgeons to locate the exact location of the tumour. All tests confirm that the nodule they see in my stomach is a Neuroendocrine Tumour, however we do not know for sure yet if it is "The VIPoma Tumour". Now it is like a race against time for them to find where it is located. I had an Endocopy procedure performed this past Thursday at St. Joseph's Hospital in which they thought they may have found the tumour, however they were not able to remove it because it kept "rolling into the lining of my stomach". So, here we are. They would like for me to give the doctor who performed the surgery on Thursday one more shot at retrieving the tumour. If he is still unsuccessful, a Pancreatic Surgeon ( whom Keith and I are very familiar with by now) will have to perform a more extensive surgery which will include exploratory surgery and a long hospital stay. Things regarding this cancer moves rapidly because of the urgency to remove it. One day I am attending a soccer game with the kids and receive a phone call while on the field to report to one of my six physicians or to the hospital the next day or day after.

The next oupatient surgery is scheduled for the week after Thanksgiving and we are praying that the Surgeon is successful this time. If not, we will have no choice but to go to plan B. I am passed the "Why Me" phase and the bitterness and the guilt. I now realize that God has something big for me planned. I know this because He will never put more on you than you can bear. Myself, my husband, and my children are all covered under a good Christian church with an open and outstanding Leader and we are committed to give of ourselves to the church as much as we can. We also wanted our children to grow up in the church and have their own one on one relationship with the Lord. It seems that once I decided to join the church and become more active is when the pains associated with this disease started.

I will beat this Cancer. I have to. I have too many people praying for me and too much to live for. All of my children and my grandchild need me. My parents are terrified they may be losing me. Even my grandmother and extended family members call and talk to me a lot to express their concern and love for me. Being in this church has been a blessing to me and I actually wake up thankful that I am able to go to church that day and praise the Lord. I feel so at peace when I am there even through the pains which are unbearable at times. I will be a living testimony to all of those struggling through and living with Cancer. In fact, once I am better, I may start a support group for this particular cancer, VIPoma . I want to get the word out about the symptoms and signs of this disease because usually this disease is not caught until it has already spread and it is too late. Too date, I nor my doctors have been able to locate anybody who is still alive with this disease except me. Yes, I do believe I will have a story and testimony to tell !

My Four Year Old Attacked In Face By Dog

Oh my God! When I arrived in the emergency in the room where my four year old son was being treated for a vicious dog attack. The dog had bitten my son in the face and it appeared the upper lip was loosely hanging on and there was blood everywhere? You could clearly see where the dog’s fangs had bitten my son down into my son’s face right up under the nose and through both lips. I was devastated.
It all started a few hours ago. I was having a procedure done at another hospital and my parents had agreed to pick up my son after school and take him to their home until my outpatient surgery was complete. When my parents arrived at their home, they took Keith down out of the Expedition and had instructed him to go into house while they proceeded to retrieve his two younger cousins out of the SUV. By the time my parents walked into the door (within a minute after pulling into the driveway), it was too late. Keith’s 18 year old sister was screaming that Keith was bleeding. My mom rushed over to him and told my father who had just walked in the door to turn around get back into the SUV because they needed to rush him to the hospital because he had been attacked by one of their dogs. On the rush to the hospital, my mom kept applying pressure to the wounds with a cold rag. Once at the hospital my mom called me on my cell phone. Not wanting to upset me because of a rare disease/cancer I was at the hospital for, she proceeded to tell me what happened and to hurry and get to the other hospital.

My four year old son required 14 stitches to his face. I believe I cried more than he did with each needle puncture to sew up the wound. The next day his face looked even worse. The swelling had set in and he did not look anything like the handsome young man of a day before. He looked so bad that his two sisters (eight year old and ten year old) could not bear to look at him. They cried and cried. He looked like he was in soooo much pain. The swelling started to go down by day 3, but we still had to try and keep the stitches clean. The stitches were removed by his pediatrician ten days after the attack. During this time we had numerous churches and people praying for him. Today if you were to look at him, you could not tell he was attacked. He still has scars but I am praying that they will completely go away. To be honest, I believe he is healing rather quicker than anybody ever expected. As for the dog, he was taken away by animal control, tested for rabies, and put to sleep at the request of my parents. They loved that dog and it hurt everyone to see him put down, but how can trust the animal after he has shown such aggression towards a child?

He's Going to Pre-K

I finally found a preschool that I am comfortable with and my son is scheduled to start there on Monday. Please excuse me while I jump from joy!!! I love having him home with me, but we both need a break and he needs to be learning and praying and this school is a faith based school so they pray every morning and every afternoon. The classrooms are school...only ten kids per class..and it is clean and all of the staff, the directors and teacher are all intelligent and gracious. He will only be going for four hours a day, but that is good enough for now...You can learn a lot in four hours, plus he will be able to play with friends both inside and outside and work off some of his energy.

On the other hand of this,the four hours a day will give me the opportunity the keep the house clean without my four year old messing it right back up, I can go grocery shopping without having to put him in one of those dirty old car carts that all the kids love to ride in (and those carts are very hard to turn), etc. I am looking forward to Monday, I just hope my son is too. If we can get through it without kicking, screaming, begging, and saying, "I promise I'll be good...just to make me go to school." it will be awesome.

My Four Year Old

My four year old is driving me crazy. No, really, really crazy. He can be the sweetest little boy at times, but most of the time he is an over active, overly imaginative, creative, jumping, kicking, whining, crying, whining, demanding, hungry mean machine. He does things just to see how far he can push my buttons and at first I just sit there and occasionally threaten him with a time out or a spanking or a timeout in his room alone…and for a minute he may get quiet until he realizes he would rather take his chances and just scream at the top of his lungs while looking at me. That is when I have to take action.
The fact that he is home with me during the day now instead of in pre-K makes things a little worse. He needs to be in a school environment at least for half a day learning and growing with kids his own age. The problem is I have not been able to find a free pre-k program in our neighborhood in which I can pick him up and pick his sisters up on time as they both get out of school at the same time. So, I would end up paying a late fee to one of the schools which I cannot afford. So I keep looking for a pre-k or church pre-k program to place him in. I am trying but you know for yourself that you can’t just put your child anyplace. You need to check and double check the place out to make sure that your child is in a good place.
Placing Keith Jr. someplace where he will be able to grow and where he will feel comfortable is going to be a challenge. He is a spoiled momma’s boy but once he gets used to a place he thrives but he problem is it usually takes him a while before he gets to the thriving point. I could put him where he was last year up until I lost my job but I cannot afford it. However, maybe I can call and see if he could come three days a week or ½ days and see if I can get a break on the tuition if I do. Another option is to place him in the preschool where he went to for summer camp. That is an option, but my favorite option would be to just place him with our church. He knows the teachers at the church and they know him. I would feel comfortable with him there and it would help thatI I would be volunteering at the church sometimes. Problem is, the daycare/prek program at the church has not started yet. Maybe I should just ask the Pastor what is needed to get it up and running. Maybe I can help make some calls or something. Yes, I think that is an option. I will call the pastor to see if I can do anything to help open te the prek doors soon, and I can check into the summercamp he went to to see if they would take him in as a pre-k person, I could offer my services to help….or I can just keep looking around in the neighborhood. OK…I think I know where to start. I will keep you updated as to the progress.

Time at Grandma's

It is after one in the morning and I can't sleep. Insomnia has been a part of my life for almost a year now. The only thing that helps is the ocassional ambien. I have had this horrible headache across my forehead for three days now and nothing except pain medication eases some of the pain, but I do not like taking medicine so I mostly suffer through it. I have an appointment with the oncology surgeon on tuesday so we should have some more answers and a surgery date then. I am so weak all of the time now. I made hotdogs for the kids for dinner which they did not mind, but I feel a little guilty. I will really try to make that homemade spaghetti and meatballs with garlic toast for them tomorrow.

I visited with my parents today much to the delight of my little ones. They had been asking all week to go over there so I took them there with the intention of only staying about fifteen minutes, but it actually turned into almost three hours. It was a nice visit, spending time with Mom and Dad is always nice and I wish I could do it more often. The only problem is that my two year old niece bites my kids and my two year old nephew throws things at them. My mom watches them for my sisters so whenever I drop by with the kids after school they are there. The funny thing is, my kids still love to be around my niece and nephew. They talk about them all the time. I also watched my granddaughter for a few hours tonight so my son-in-law could take m daughter out to dinner for her birthday. She is getting so big and is forever cute. Happy Birthday Krystal.

Vipoma Diagnosis

I am numb. I guess that is probably the best way to describe my feelings right now towards my recent medical diagnosis. After months of diarrhea, weakness, weight loss, back and stomach pain, etc. I have finally been given a definite diagnosis for what is wrong with me. I have been diagnosed as having Vipoma. Never heard of it? Join the many doctors and other medical professionals who have been in practice for decades who also have never heard of it. This disease is very rare and affects 1 in 10 million people. Yes, you heard right…one in ten million people. My Endocrinologist, who happens to be one of the top fifty in his field here has only encountered this a few times in his entire thirty plus years of practice. One of his nurses told me that she has been working in his office for nine years and that this is the very first time that office has encountered anyone with this disease. There is no mistake, they have run test after test after test and even repeated some of the tests just to be sure…it is definitely Vipoma.

From what I understand, this is a very rare cancer that usually originates in the pancreatic area. Chances of survival are greatly increased if they can find the tumors and remove them. The problem is, although they know for sure they are in my body, they do not know exactly where they are. Scat scans, radiation scanning, etc. have not been able to show where they are, but what it did show was another problem that I apparently have….Gallstones..one of which has calcified. I don’t really know what a calcified Gallstone is, but I do know that the doctors are wanting to remove those gallstones as well, but their priority right now is to find the Vipoma tumors and remove them. At this point I am told the next step is surgery, however the surgeons are in discussions as to how to proceed with that. Did I mention how rare this is? I am told to be patient and that they are aware of the urgency of the situation but that is very hard to do when I do not know what to expect next. Doing nothing is not an option as of course if you do not remove these tumors it is fatal. However, for what I have read, even if you do remove the tumors, there are no guarantees. I read somewhere that your chances are greatly improved if they can remove it, but that by the time symptoms present themselves it has normally already spread making your chances not so good. The survival rate for this does not seem to be really good, but I have a LOT of people praying for me so I am hopeful.

I just wish I could speak with someone who has this and is living with it. Someone who can tell me that there is a LOT of hope and that though most people do not make it, there are a LOT of people who do. But I cannot find anything like that out there on the internet, not in the forums, anywhere. So I wait, and pray, and enjoy as much time with my kids as possible. I am scared if you can’t tell by this posting…I am very scared. I have hid this diagnosis from my three youngest children (ages 4, 8, and 10) because I do not want to scare them. It just doesn’t seem fair to put something like this on them when they are working so hard in school. I don’t want them worried and I don’t want them to cry. If there is anybody out there who has this, or know of someone who has or had this, please let me know. I could really use to hear from someone out there who knows something about this. Thanks for listening.

My Tween wants a Cellphone

I didn't have a cellphone until I was well into my twenties, had a job, and a couple of kids. However, times have changed and with the change has come the need for us to consider allowing our Ten year old to keep a cellphone in her purse for emergencies. Yes, I know that although "emergency" is the intended reason for the cellphone, she will probably use it to call her dad, her grandmother, etc. The good news about that is, there is a cellphone made especially for kids that you can program yourself to only be useable by the child during certain hours which means the phone will not be ringing during class time. Also, you can set a limit on how many minutes per month the child can use it, and get this....it comes with a GPS so, if heaven forbid you do not know where your child is, or cannot reach them, the GPS will allow you to find them....what parent can't use that? Another good part about these phones is that they are NOT toy phones, and are not cheapos..For example, the phone I just bought my daughter is pink, pretty, and a Sprint phone. The plan I purchased meets my budget and includes unlimited texting. Trust me, there are plans available for ANY budget. I prefer the piece of mind that allowing my daughter to carry a cellphone brings. Plus, when she is at a friend's house she texts me constantly so I know exactly what she is doing. :)

To find out more about these great cellphones for kids, visit the webpage below...

http://www.kajeet.com/antoinette

children with Autism

I gave birth to six beautiful children and none of them had autism, however I always count my blessings because I know that odds are any one of my six children could have been born with autism. What is autism? I don't know very much about it but from what I hear it actually makes children who are exceptionally gifted and bright appear to be children with learning disabilities. This puzzles me because looking at these children they appear they same as any other, however the only difference I see is in regards to how they interact with others. What is being done to identify autistic children earlier on so that they can receive the proper care they need? What are some of the signs we should look for in autistic children...how can I be sure my child is not autistic? Is there a special program out there that will come into your home and test your child for autism? What happens if the tests prove that he is indeed autistic? What happens next.? As you can see, I have tons of questions. If anyone out there knows anything about autism and how to test your child for autism and how to get help if needed, please let me know. All comments welcome.

I Hate being Unemployed

I have been unemployed now for five months, and I absolutely hate it. The hardest part is actually wanting to work but not being able to find a job. I came down off of my high horse several months ago and stopped expecting potential employers to pay me what I was making at my last job (which was $53K annually). I even took a notch lower and stopped asking what I felt I was even worth, yet to this day I still have had only one prospect and after two interviews I received no further phone calls. So, here I sit day after day after day applying for jobs and hopefully something will pan out soon. As I write this I feel both silly and calmer because at the start of this blog I was slightly enraged and depressed. I have two daughters in Girl Scouts and a son in Soccer and with school just started back a month ago, I am having to come up with $20 here and $30 there to pay for school activities and extracurricular activities. Before I would just write the checks and not even give it an after thought, but now that I am unemployed it is extremely difficult to come up with these funds. I try to hide the fact that I am struggling from my kids, so I borrow the money and pray that either a job comes through or I will be approved for unemployment so that things will get a little bit better. I know that there are worse off people out there in the world, but I never dreamed that I would be in this bad of a position…ever. It is very humbling.

On the flip side of this, I have made some changes that will benefit us even once I find a job such as shopping at thrift stores, using coupons, budgeting funds, cooking meals more at home, paying closer attention to nutrition, etc. Even after I find a job I know that I will continue these new habits just because they are good habits to have. No longer able to afford to order delivery pizza as much, my kids look forward to and even have a song they sing when they smell pizza cooking in the oven. (Tonight it is Digiorno's Pepperoni Pizza). Awwww….the pizza is almost done now and here comes my kids singing the song down the stairs…”Mommies, cooking pizza…Mommies cooking pizza….Mommies cooking pizza..” Hearing them so happy has already lifted my spirits and makes my problems seem minute…if even just for tonight.

H1N1 Decisions

H1N1
I am at a loss as to how to combat this H1N1 Flu virus that is going around. I heard on the news last week that here in Georgia we have the highest number of reported cases right now. That terrifies me. What is worse is that school has barely been in a month and we already have a lot of schools with large numbers of confirmed cases of H1N1. Now, the schools and the school system are not even telling us anymore when there are new cases so now we are being kept in the dark. So how do you keep your child safe from the H1N1 ? All of the reports and news stories say that you need to have your children and yourself given the flu shot as soon as it is available, which is now. Additionally, you will need to have your children and yourself given the H1N1 flu shot as soon as it becomes available which looks to be mid October. For those of us who have never had a flu shot, that will mean two shots for the regular flu shot and two more shots for the H1N1. If you are counting along with me, that is four shots per person. It takes four nurses to hold my eight year old down to give her a shot so I am not looking forward to this. But my question is, do we know for sure that this will work? If we only received the regular flu shot and not the H1N1, will we be okay through this flu season?

The H1N1 flu vaccine is still being tested, so once it becomes available how do we know if it is truly work and if it will truly keep you from catching the flu. I am a good parent but do not want to subject my children to four sets of shots unnecessarily. I really wish a doctor, a pediatrician would stand up and give the pros and cons on both sides of the fence. I want to do what is best for my kids, but do not want to subject them to anything that is unnecessary. So for now we are washing and washing and washing our hands and carrying around antibacterial handwash with us but I fear that may not be enough. I would like to know what you guys think. Are you having your kids inoculated against the both the regular and the H1N1 flu or neither. Let me know your thoughts.

The First Day of School - Church Eases Fears

Today was the first day of school in our town. Last night my daughters were both excited and apprehensive as they prepared for the next morning. I could hear them chatter excessively about what friends might be in their classrooms, what their teachers would be like, who would return and who wouldn't, the hard studying they would have to do now that summer break was over, etc. None of this excitement really surprised me and it made me smile hearing them because it brought back memories of when I was in school...way, way, way, long ago. What did surprise me, however, was the fact that underneath my bold exterior I was even more apprehensive than they were. In fact, I was a little bit scared of them going back to school.

Times have changed so much since I was in school and kids did not have nearly the troubles, worries, challenges, and problems that they face now. Bullies, violence, gangs, unscrupulous teachers, school shootings, etc...all of those things scare the devil out of me now. In church yesterday the pastor did something that put my mind to ease..they called all of the children going back to school up to the front of the church along with the parents and he prayed over us. How thoughtful! They also handed the children gift bags with a few school supplies and treats and each one of them were surprised with a popsicle on their way out of the church doors. All of these things may seem small, but wow did they ever make a difference!

Another One Bites the Dust

Yesterday, after 15 years of extraordinary success at a major computer company I was laid off. The reason? They are outsourcing a LOT of jobs to Brazil and India. I am absolutely numb. With all of this going on and the state of the economy, how are we Americans supposed to survive? Now, here I am 41 years old and having to decide how to spend the rest of my life. I have a few ideas, I just didn't think I would have to worry about restarting my life at this point. I think it is absolutely awful what the big companies are doing and sending all of our jobs oversees is uncomprehensible. Well, that's my ranting for today. Like it or hate it, I think it stinks!