Tuesday, May 22, 2007

When People Just Pop Over

I love to have company. I don't have many friends as we relocated here from Atlanta a few years ago, but I do desire to have lots of friends. Growing up as a child, my family moved around a lot because my father was pursuiing an acting career. Because of that, I was always the new kid in class and so never really learned how to make and keep friends. It's not that I didn't want any friends, but I just got to the point where it broke my heart to make a new best friend and then have to leave them a year or so later that I just gave up trying. The smart girl and new girl is usually not the most popular girl. I also had (and still have) large eyes so the kids always teased me about my eyes. I say that to say, now I truly do appreciate friendships and enjoy meeting people. What throws me off is when people just pop over out of the blue.

It really wouldn't matter to me except that for some reason, my house is ALWAYS a total disaster area when people just pop over. I spend the entire 15 or 20 minutes they are there apologizing for the mess. Then I stay up half the night worrying over whether or not they will consider me a slob or dirt bag for having such a dirty house. Don't get me wrong, it doesn't look like a pig stye, and my home is usually clean, but I do have three small children....well, four if you count my husband. I get absolutely NO help with the housework and juggle a full time career (even though it is work from home) with running a V.A business (which is sort of on hold right now), with all of the cooking, cleaning, kids extracurricular activities, etc. There just is not enough hours in the day to do it all, so unfortunately something each day must get pushed to the back.

Yes, I plan on hiring a housekeeper to help out at least twice a month, but they are so darn expensive! I am a penny pincher so everytime I think about the hundred plus dollars I would have to pay them twice a month or so makes me gag. Of course, the alternative is to continue to dig myself into a grave by trying to continue doing it all. NOT ! In a perfect world, I see myself not cringing everytime the doorbell rings and glancing around to see what I can through out of sight. In a perfect world my house would smell like Pine Sol and fresh flowers every single day. In a perfect world my kids would pick up after themselves and not throw their book bags and shoes and sweaters/jackets wherever they take them off at. Yes, I have taught them better but it is a never ending battle. I fuss and complain but to no avail. Calgon take me awayyyyy!!!

Friday, May 18, 2007

Girl Scout Camping Trip versus Ballet Recital

There is a big controversy going on in my home. Tomorrow is my eight year old's camping trip with her Girl Scout troop. Unfortunately it is also her mandatory dress rehearsal for her dance recital. Did I say, Mandatory!! Needless to say, even after months of practice and hard work, Taylie wants to go on the camping trip. I've explained the importance of not letting people down who depend on you, responsibility, etc. etc. etc...she is not budging. She wants to ditch the dance recital and go on the trip.

My husband and I both hate to burst her bubble. She is an honor student, all E's...a great kid and a very good dancer. But...as parents, we have to make the right decision for her as it seems that she just is not old enough to decide at this point which decision is best for her. I explain to her that we can take her to the Great Wolf Lodge next month as a family, but that there will only be one dance recital for her as a Ballet I performer. She sheds her tears, pouts, and complains. But in the end, I think she understands. She is getting an early lesson on life, its disappointments, its challenges, and some of the hard decisions that we sometimes have to make.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Potty Training

As I prepare to potty train my two year old son, I scoured the internet for some much needed advice. Here is one of the better articles I ran across for some advice and tips...

Toilet Training Tips

Are you ready to toilet train your child? Before you start, make sure that everything is relatively calm in you’re his or her life. If you're moving, having another baby or starting your child in a new school, put off the process until things have stabilized. (I can attest to this. My four year old daughter at the time reverted from potty trained to back into diapers when I became pregnant with my son.) If you add potty training to a list of upheavals in your child's life, the experience may be forever linked in your child's mind with a sense of being out of control and unsure rather than with confident, happy feelings. As a parent, your number one job in toilet training is to avoid feeling pressured to train your child ASAP. Even if you have time limitations or caregiver considerations, resist the pressure. Your anxiety about toilet training can create anxiety in your child. Toilet training is not a competition. Your role is to encourage your child by fostering independence, and to allow your child to master each step at a reasonable pace. You must be prepared to devote some of your own time and emotional energy to providing direction, motivation and reinforcement on a daily basis. If the preschool you've been checking out won't take children until they're toilet trained, for instance, then you may just have to find another preschool. It's that important to let your child go a pace that's comfortable.

Additional tips to keep in mind:

  • Take care of your child's skin. The tender bottom area is just as likely to get a rash due to wetness or exposure to stool now as it did when your child was an infant. Keep your toddler dry by changing regularly.
  • Don't leave your child in soiled clothing as a toilet training method. Letting your child sit in wet or soiled underwear, training pants or diapers will only make the skin on the bottom sore and tender to passing urine, increasing the chance that your child will resist going. Help your toddler change pants quickly.
  • Make sure to coordinate your toilet training plans with whomever is with your child during the day. It's important that your toddler receives the same message whether or not you're there.
  • Feed your child high-fiber foods and lots of water, which will contribute to keeping your child's stool soft—making bowel movements easier to pass.
  • Expect accidents. All parents have to cope with an occasional mess; try not to display any anger or impatience when your child has an accident.
  • Consider your child's temperament and style of behavior. Your toddler's pace and general level of activity will dictate the potty progression.
  • Think about your child's moods—at what time of day is your little one most approachable and cooperative? That's the time to introduce toilet training. If your toddler is generally shy and a bit withdrawn, successful toilet training may take more encouragement and support than if your toddler is outgoing.
  • Work with your child's attention span—plan for distractions that will keep your child comfortable on the potty, such as a book, song, or puppet show.
  • Don't forget to take your child's frustration level into account. Reassure your toddler that accomplishment will occur in your child's own time. Your patience and encouragement will help this process along immeasurably. Expressing your support and love in what can be a tough time is key.
  • If you’re training a boy, have him initially sit down to urinate. If he starts out standing up, he may not understand why he has to sit down again to have a bowel movement. In time, he’ll learn to urinate standing up by watching dad.

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Car Crash

As I pulled out into the intersection to make a left at the light, I vaguely heard my husband make an unrecognizable noise. I quickly glanced to my right and I saw it -- a silver Lexus coming right at us. It all seemed to happen as if in slow motion, so I guess it is true what people say about your life flashing before your hands right before you die. The Lexus appeared to have come out of nowhere. I know I waited and looked both ways before I pulled out into the intersection because I am fully aware that the majority of Virginia drivers do not stop at yellow lights---for some reason they almost always try to speed through them. Being from Atlanta, this was utterly ridiculous to me as in my 23 years of driving, I have always slowed down at the yellow light. Maybe that is the reason why I have never been in an accident before--until now.

I slammed on my brakes even though I knew it was too late...we were going to get hit, and hit hard. Strangely enough, the Lexus did not even brake. I don't know if he wasn't looking, was distracted, talking on his cellphone, or what...but even later in the hospital the police confirmed that there were NO SKID MARKS--"He did not put on his brakes at all", said the police officer. Then as I gripped the steering wheel bracing for the crash, the loud sound of metal to metal shattered this late Saturday morning. Afterwards I froze. I was shocked at what just had happened. I saw my husband's lips moving, saw two or three cars pull over to the side and people get out of their cars, saw the driver of the Lexus get out and approach my husband in the middle of the street, heard my girls in the backseat saying something, but it was all a blur to me. I can not tell you what any of those people were saying because I was numb and shaking.

The sound of my little girls crying in the backseat snapped me out of it. I tried to turn around and tell them everything would be alright, but my neck would not let me move. I was hit with a sharp, throbbing pain in my neck and a splitting migraine. I quietly told my kids that I was okay and that everything was alright. In a haze of lights, confusion, and noises, I was fitted with a neck brace and strapped onto a stretcher then placed into the back of an ambulance where my three children were waiting. The girls immediately began crying when they saw mommy strapped down to the stretcher. The paramedic and I both assured the girls all was okay and they hesitantly stopped the sniffling. I felt awful that they had to see me that way and although I was in pain, refused to let it show on my face. The paramedics indicated that the kids would not be allowed to ride with us to the hospital so the girls were escorted off the ambulance to join me later at the hospital.

After x-rays the police officer at the scene of the accident came into my hospital room to take an official statement in our handwriting. He indicated that the driver of the other car "Didn't really admit running the red light." He said that the driver said that he did not know what had happened which the officer replied to me that he can sort of understand why he would be denying it.....as he put it, "With two little girls in the car, he doesn't want to openly admit that he was in the wrong in running the red light." But he also said that the other driver was "visibly shaken" and asked how I was doing. I already knew that the two little girls in the other car had seatbelt burns from the accident and were okay because I asked about them in the ambulance ride to the hospital. The paramedic had told me they were sipping sprites in the firetruck.

I don't know how much damage was actually done to the Expedition, I know it was destroyed in the front, but I don't know if they can fix it or not. Regardless of all of that, I am very thankful that my family is alive and well. I was the only person in the accident seriously injured, and luckily it is whiplash. I was told by the ER doctors that I can expect to be in pain for some days and was given a prescription of percercot and advised to take a double dose of alleve twice a day. I will take whatever pain comes my way as long as my children are spared !

Friday, May 11, 2007

Kindergarten Field Trip Adventure

I titled this post, "Adventure", because what was supposed to be an average, boring, run of the mill field trip with a bunch of kindergarteners turned out to be much more. It all started innocent enough, I arrived at the school, signed in at the office, and proceeded to my daughter's classroom. The class was actually standing out in the hall, so she screamed "Mommy" long before I saw her. I knew it was her, all moms know their kids voices, cries, and shrills.

The bus ride to the petting zoo was noisy. It didn't really bother me because I was probably just as excited as the kids were to be going on this field trip. I needed this serenity, the break from work, the bonding time with my daughter. My only responsibility on this trip was to keep up with three little six year olds, "Megan" (my daughter), her friend "Katie", and her other friend "Felecity". A piece of cake! I had my schedule which was simple enough, one hour to explore, meet at Nature Center at eleven, lunch 30 minutes later, followed by another hour of exploring. Boy, oh boy, four hours of fun, fun, fun lay ahead of us!

Because I had never been to this petting zoo, my plan was to stick close to some of the other chaperrones from the classroom and follow them around. I'm a genius! We saw some animals, did some walking, and after climbing a very steep hill were at the goat area. All of the kids were petting the goats. They had a machine full of seeds next to the goats for you to purchase and feed the goats. Of course, after seeing their other classmates feeding the goats I had to dig in my purse for two quarters. The line was long, tempers were longer, but the girls were finally able to feed the goats. Once done, I turned around from the gate to seek out one of the other five chaperrones from Megan's class. Oh no, none of them were to be found! There were soooo many kids, and teachers, and parents from other schools that I was getting sick from looking through the crowds. Slightly panicked, I began to walk back down the hill in search of a parent...Any parent from the same school now. Nothing.

We came across a fork in the trail. I couldn't decide which way to go. Katie said to go left, that that was the way to go. I looked down that trail and didn't see any people on it. But on the right trail I could make out some people...so I chose right. Needless to say I chose wrong. Katie was right, but I didn't realize it until an hour later..after we passed the bears, the big fish, the railroad track, etc. By the way, as we were approaching the railroad track Megan said very loudly, "We didn't pass any railroad tracks before. Mommy, this is the wrong way!" By this time I knew we were going in the wrong direction, but refused to eat crow. I figured that we would keep walking and hopefully it would be in a circle and we would end up at the Nature Center. Meanwhile Felecity and Katie were whining "I'm Hot", "I'm Hungry", "I'm Tired"....while Megan lagged behind constantly. I found myself saying every ten seconds, "Morgan walk faster", or "I know you're tired, we're almost there", or "It's not time to eat yet." I stopped several people along the way and asked for directions, but noone knew how to get there. Apparently most people come there to just walk around but never really visited the Nature Center.

At 11:15 I decided to concede and admit we were going in the wrong direction. We had already missed the Nature Center drop off tour, and I was hot, tired, and hungry too. We turned around and backtracked. After 250 complaints from the three girls, we finally came back to the fork in the trail...this time I listened to Katie. Within 10 minutes we were walking through the doors of the Nature Center. Duh!! I guess that's what I get for thinking I was smarter than a six year old!

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Toddler DayCare Woos

"M---o---m---m---y!!!!! N---o---o---!! M---o---m---m---y---!"

My two year old is screaming at the top of his lungs for me not to leave him. My heart is sinking and I am near tears because in all actuality, I don't want to leave him here. I feel like picking him up and running back to the Expedition and taking him back home with me. But if I do that, I would not be able to get ANY work done. Plus, he does need the companionship of kids his age. He needs to learn things like socialization and his numbers and alphabets in a structured environment. Goddard is the perfect place for that.

He has been going to Goddard now for seven months. You would think that by now he would be used to the routine and there would be no crying....NOT! For some reason I am tormented day after day with the shrilling screams he lets out as I turn and walk towards the door to exit the toddler room. Some days are so bad that I sit in my Expedition in the parking lot and cry. Some days I even tip toe back into the school and peep in the room to make sure he is alright. What's wrong with me??!! Am I crazy!!? Or am I just a wimp like my husband says I am?

If anybody out there has any tips on how to ease my torment, please let me know. I don't know how much more of this I can take!

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