Until a few years ago, I had no idea that there was a label for the awkward pre-teen age group of 9 - 12 year olds. Now that I can put a name to the three or four years children experience before puberty, I can proudly say that I have successfully raised three daughters through the tween stage. Before you clap me on the back, also know that as the mother of six, I currently have another daughter just starting the tween years, and will have two more children starting that phase in a couple of years. What was I thinking?
The tween years begins at the age of nine. Children of this age start to develop into their own person with their own thoughts, their own ideas, their own opinions, and their own moral concepts. They still look to their parents for support and guidance, but they also start to feel that they are more knowledgeable than they are. Sassiness is a common trait shared by the majority of tweens. This is not always because they are deliberately trying to upset their elders, but sometimes it is because they are subconsciously testing boundaries. One word of advice here, nip it in the bud. Don’t laugh and think it is cute when your kid rebuttals your instructions for doing so is setting yourself up for a long, hard next three years. Be firm with your decisions and by all means, Mean What You Say. Now is not the time for bending, giving in, or feelings of nostalgia. Although they may appear otherwise, these young people are in desperate need of a good foundation and some tough love.
If you are like me, you will be amazed at how mature your daughter looks at this age. My nine year old has the grace of a swan, the intellect of a scholar, and the body of a 15 year old. I have just begun more in depth conversations regarding boys and some of the questions she asks are startling. I hide my surprise because I do not want her to ever feel like she cannot come and talk to me. This is the one area where being your child’s friend as well as their parent will gain your much more sleep at night and much less heartache. Be honest with them and always open your door and your heart to whatever they wish to discuss.
I hear many people speak on role models and the responsibility they have in setting a good example for our youth. While this is somewhat true, I do not believe that being considered a role model is an automatic privilege to entertainers. This is especially true when the entertainer does not want to be considered a role model. The best role model a tween can have is their own parents, family members, or persons the parents have placed in their lives. First and foremost, I am and always have been all of my daughter’s most prominent role model. I take pride in this fact and do not take the responsibility that goes along with this prestigious title lightly. I recognize that my every action and every spoken word is monitored closely and more than likely will be repeated sooner than later. For this reason, I keep my appearance up, always strive to do my best, exhibit kindness to others, and continuously try to improve upon my education and skillset. The tween years is most definitely NOT a time for a parent to have the attitude, “Do as I say, and not as I do”.
Handled correctly, both you and your 13 year old will survive the tween years with no scrapes, no bruises, and no jail time. Remember to keep an open mind, be patient, and to always have your door open to them and your relationship as the best mom or dad in the world will be sealed forever.
The tween years begins at the age of nine. Children of this age start to develop into their own person with their own thoughts, their own ideas, their own opinions, and their own moral concepts. They still look to their parents for support and guidance, but they also start to feel that they are more knowledgeable than they are. Sassiness is a common trait shared by the majority of tweens. This is not always because they are deliberately trying to upset their elders, but sometimes it is because they are subconsciously testing boundaries. One word of advice here, nip it in the bud. Don’t laugh and think it is cute when your kid rebuttals your instructions for doing so is setting yourself up for a long, hard next three years. Be firm with your decisions and by all means, Mean What You Say. Now is not the time for bending, giving in, or feelings of nostalgia. Although they may appear otherwise, these young people are in desperate need of a good foundation and some tough love.
If you are like me, you will be amazed at how mature your daughter looks at this age. My nine year old has the grace of a swan, the intellect of a scholar, and the body of a 15 year old. I have just begun more in depth conversations regarding boys and some of the questions she asks are startling. I hide my surprise because I do not want her to ever feel like she cannot come and talk to me. This is the one area where being your child’s friend as well as their parent will gain your much more sleep at night and much less heartache. Be honest with them and always open your door and your heart to whatever they wish to discuss.
I hear many people speak on role models and the responsibility they have in setting a good example for our youth. While this is somewhat true, I do not believe that being considered a role model is an automatic privilege to entertainers. This is especially true when the entertainer does not want to be considered a role model. The best role model a tween can have is their own parents, family members, or persons the parents have placed in their lives. First and foremost, I am and always have been all of my daughter’s most prominent role model. I take pride in this fact and do not take the responsibility that goes along with this prestigious title lightly. I recognize that my every action and every spoken word is monitored closely and more than likely will be repeated sooner than later. For this reason, I keep my appearance up, always strive to do my best, exhibit kindness to others, and continuously try to improve upon my education and skillset. The tween years is most definitely NOT a time for a parent to have the attitude, “Do as I say, and not as I do”.
Handled correctly, both you and your 13 year old will survive the tween years with no scrapes, no bruises, and no jail time. Remember to keep an open mind, be patient, and to always have your door open to them and your relationship as the best mom or dad in the world will be sealed forever.
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