He may not be there when you want him, but he is always right on time

I went to John Hopkins Hospital earlier this week and God had his hand all in it from the beginning to the end. First of all, we could not afford to go, the plane tickets were so expensive, but I was told by many doctors that John Hopkins was the best place to go for rare cancers so I knew that I needed to go...if not for me, for my kids. I want to be the one to raise them with my husband so i need to do whatever it takes to make that happen.

Back to the story...The Lord stepped in and made it possible for us to afford the tickets to get to Boston. It just so happened that my hubbie had enough frequent flyer points to pay for one ticket, so we only had to pay for one ticket..can I stop here and give God praise?? Hallelulah.

We arrived at the airport on time but for some reason Keith was hurrying and walking real fast. I was having a hard time catching up to him. Well, when we finally got to the gate, I expected to sit down and take a breather because the plane was not scheduled to take off for at least another twenty five minutes. To our surprise, the plane was almost completely boarded when we arrived at the gate. We were some of the final people to board the plane. Again, I can only thank the Lord for guiding us to walk so fast to the gate and not take our time and walk leisurely. Had we done that, we would have missed the plane because the plane was filled to capacity and there were people hoping there were "late people" because they were on standby.

We arrived in Baltimore, Maryland ahead of time by about twenty minutes so thank you to the pilot. He deserved all the credit. Those biscuit cookies they served hit the spot too. When we arrived, we rented a car, because the hospital was thirty minutes away from the airport. We did not know if we were going to have enough or be in a bind for the car, but we stepped out on faith.

Here is the best part, the hotel room we stayed in was one of the best hotels in the city. We had a one bedroom suite with a flat screen tv in the living room and in the bedroom. The shower got as hot as you wanted it to, no matter how many other people in the hotel had taken or were taking showers when you were. Wait,that's not the best part. We did not have to pay not one red cent for the hotel stay! We were there from Sunday to Thursday night and did not have to pay and were treated with royalty. You see, during my gynecology appointment a couple of months ago, my usual doctor was not there so the doctor who owned the practice had to give me my yearly exam. She was reading my chart and noticed that I had a rare cancer. She wanted to know more about it, which is usual because a lot of doctors have never heard of it, so I explained all the details that I knew about it. I also mentioned that I had been fighting it for two years now and had been to another cancer treatment center in Tampa, Florida on and off for a year and a half and they were unable to resolve the cancer. I explained that the doctors were now suggesting I go to John Hopkins Cancer Center in Baltimore and she gasped. It turned out that her sister had a son with a rare cancer and since they spent so much time at the hospital seeing him, they had actually purchased the suite at the hotel that they were staying at...near John Hopkins Cancer Center. She said that sadly, the son died, but that her sister would be so glad to let someone else with cancer have use of the suite. She contacted her by phone right then and there and gave her the dates and I was all set. We were in a plush, nice, comfortable, one bedroom suite and did not have to pay anything! I need to take another moment now to say "Halleluah". Unbelieveable!

Everything just seemed to fall in place, but then the devil tried to step in. When we arrived at the hospital for my scans, tests, bloodworks, etc. at 7:30 in the morning, the staff indicated that they did not have authorization from my insurance company to see me and that unless I paid out of pocket I would not be seen by the doctors. Can you believe that?? I took out my tablet that I right down all my phone calls, names, dates, and times in when speaking with people on the phone and showed them who I spoke to, when, and that they assured me last week several times that everything was all set. We stood there arguing back and forth because the scheduler said her notes said something different! I almost fell out crying. They did not care that I came all the way from Georgia. I begged them to please call Blue Cross and get another copy of the authorization (because I knew they had received one last week) and they said they kept trying but couldn't get through. They suggested I stay another week or two to wait on the authorization and have the tests done, but I could not do that. I have small children at home I told them, but they seemed content to just let me walk out of there. Even if I wanted to stay an extra day I would not have because my children were having an end of summer camp program that all three of them were participating in and I refused to miss it. I miss so much of their things by being sick and this is one time I would not miss it! I think I cried and cried, but not out of sadness, out of anger!

We went and ate lunch and went back to the hotel room. I spent the day in bed sulking and Keith spent the entire day in the living room working. It just so happened that I did not schedule the trip for the one or two days the test would take. That day I missed my kids so much and I swore that if this was a bust I was done with all of these hospitals. I would just live the best I could and leave it all in God's hands. I pouted and stayed in bed that entire day.

However, The test was scheduled for Tuesday, which as you know did not happen. I had scheduled our departure for Thursday night...something just led me to do that.

The next day, Wednesday, something in me told me to call up to the hospital and speak to Virginia as she was the only one that was really sympathetic. I called her and she said that they had been trying to reach us. That not even thirty minutes after we left Blue Cross called them and gave them full authorization to do everything they needed to do. (I guess the paperwork from last week got misplaced}. I was esctatic. I asked if it was too late to come in that day and she said yes, but that I could come in and have them all done that following morning. I needed to be there at 7:30 a.m. My husband and I could not believe it. The Lord works in mysterious ways. You see, had I had the tests done on Tuesday as planned, I was not symptamatic, meaning I wasn't sick, it was a good day symptom wise. You cannot get a true reading unless the patient is acually going through "an episode". My episodes usually last three or four days, sometimes longer. In between those times I have a few good days here and there.

Thursday morning we arrived at the hospital, had all the tests and bloodwork done and went back to the hotel to nap. Had I not scheduled our departure for Thursday instead of Wednesday like anyone else would have, like I started to, the whole trip would have been a bust. But God stepped in and beat that devil at his own game! We arrived at the airport on time, boarded the plane, and had a smooth ride home. I will say this one last time, because I am in awe of His power when you turn your life over to him. You see, because I had become closer to the Lord, and ask him and pray to him to use me to do His will and help me and my family in protection and everything else, I have learned how to tell when He is guiding me in a certain way or trying to tell me something. It is hard to explain, but I did not get it before. I did not understand having such a relationship with him before. I love him and all that he has done. But His Hand Was All In This Entire Trip. I Owe It All To Him and the People he put in my path, like the nice sister of the doctor who allowed us to stay in her room. She says we can stay there as much as we like, just contact her and let her know so that she can make the arrangements.

So, that is the end of this very long story. I hope that you can understand why I am still in awe of everything that happened. I Love the Lord. God is good..All the time!

P.S. Yes, we did make it to the kids program and they were so surprised to see me, especially my son. He screamed "Mommy", "Mommy" and I was so happy to be there. Details are in my next blog (smile).

Krystal and Arthur joined my church on Sunday

When I saw them walk in, I was very pleasantly surprised. They attended once before, but I thought Krystal was totally against small churches, however not only did they show up, but they actually walked down the aisle and joined as new members. This is such a big step in our relationship. Krystal is a total sweetheart and I see so much of me in her. My son-in-law has had a positive influence on her with her relationship with the Lord. Sometimes you need that extra push to get going. I hope that she will become an active member. I am attending the women's church meeting tomorrow and the president says she has a position for me. I was once secretary, but since my illness and all my hospital stays, I have been unable to fulfill my duties. I look forward to hearing what she has in mind for me. I really want to give more of myself to the Lord.

I don't know if I mentioned it, but Krystal is pregnant with my second grandbaby. The first was beautiful Arielle and I was blessed enough to be in the room with her during the entire delivery. Krystal seemed so calm due to the spinal block she received. I was shocked at how calm she was. She didn't even start moaning until it was about time to push. I had all six of my babies natural birth so i felt ALL the pains. I could teach a class on it. I also breast fed my youngest one, my only son, until he was two years old. This grosses some people out, but I decided it was better for him because of all the ads about the positive effects it grants. I even heard that in other countries, some mothers nurse their babies until they are four or five. I see nothing wrong with it, and like abortion, I feel it is a personal decision. I have no regrets. Now he just turned six. Now if I can only get him out of my bed and into his own room at nights.....that's been a battle and I always say, "Choose your battles" .

I Danced With My Granddaughter

Saturday, I danced with my grandaughter. This may not be a big deal to some, but due to my illness, I have not been able to spend as much time with her as I wish. She is two years old now and I remember the day she was born like it was yesterday. I was the first person she looked at when she opened her eyes. I was so happy! She has truly been a blessing. My daughter keeps her dressed real nice everyday and she looks just like an angel. She is so pretty she should be on t.v.

Well, at the Pastor's appreciation dinner, I squealed when she, her father, and her mother came through the doors. I was so shocked they came.
I enjoyed their company and they got a chance to meet some of the church members. Keith and I also met some of the newer members of the church. We reached out to as many people as we could because as Leaders of the church, that is what you are supposed to do. We welcome everybody and tried to make them feel comfortable and not alone. Our church is diverse and unique. It was such an honor for our pastor to receive another aportment
to preach at our church. From time to time his mentor, Reverend Kimbrough who was our pastor when we attended Cascade United Methodist church comes in and guest speaks. I think he is coming soon, either this week or next week I think.He is our current pastor's mentor. If that isn't a sign that we are where God wants us to be I don't know what is. My children love going to church just as much as me and my husband. They do not complain, and even Little Keith gets excited about going to church. I have nothing but good things to say about Qwest United Methodist. I even adore the lead singer, Cynthia. My favorite song is "Smile", and when she sings it, it moves me to tears.

It was a shame that more people did not show up and it hurt my heart because as much as he, his wife, and their darling daughter sacrafice and give to the church and its members we should have had a banquet hall full of people. Well, one of the Leaders (The pastor's right hand man) approached me after church today and informed me that we would be doing a "do over" next month and that this time it would be different and hopefully more people will come. I definitely want to be a part of that. As a matter of fact, I think I will ask if I can plan it myself. As a project manager for IBM for fifteen years, I think I could do a good job of planning a special gathering for the pastor. As a matter of fact, I think I will ask if I can put the whole thing together. Yes, I am sick a lot, but I can still do a good job of planning the gathering with enough notice...he deserves so much more than what we had Saturday and I would love to take on the task of planning it. It would be a gift to him. This is a project, and if he accepts my proposal, I would like to be the project manager. You cannot have two cooks in the pot because en that I have got to spend more time with my older kids and grandbaby. I won't take nothing away in the form of time with my three youngest ones, but I will need to spend time with the others too. Plus, my little ones love their older sisters and adore their niece and little cousins. It's time for us to come together.

Imagine my surprise when I saw them in church on Sunday. And afterwards, they asked all the men to meet downstairs for a brief meeting, and my son in law went downstairs with my husband. He has even expressed an interest in joining the church and maybe even the choir. I really hope they join. I really do. I have signed Little Keith up to be baptized and I will send out invitations to everybody.

Should I be Upset or Just Let It Go

I need you guys’ opinion. I do not like to be upset or carry grudges so I want to squash this mess and continue on with my life. All of my friends and relatives and church family is aware of this very rare cancer that I have and the fact that I have to drive from Georgia to Tampa, Florida every three months. The last time I was in Tampa was two or three weeks ago. I had major surgery that included exploratory surgery of my liver, spleen, pancreas, stomach, etc. in search of the tumor however the surgery was unsuccessful and they could not find the tumor, however they did remove my gallbladder. Before I went to Tampa I begged my sisters and my mother to please come visit me in the hospital at least for one day because I was terrified and needed family there. Keith was by my side every step of the way and I do not know what I would have done without him,but no sisters, and no mother. My mother has illnesses of her own. She is in constant pain with her legs, back, and kneecaps so I totally understood that she could not take the drive to Tampa. I had spoken with my youngest sister and we agreed that it would be better for her to come around and help me at home versus coming to the hospital because I would need more help and company at home once I came back, so all is good on that point. She has not come around yet, but that is my fault, I am working on a schedule for all of this. However, my other sister knew how difficult this was going to be for me and I asked her to come but due to monetary issues she could not come, which I understood.

Fast forward to the week after I arrive back at home from my surgery in Tampa. I found out that my sister who said she had the monetary issues, her husband, my oldest daughter and her husband all drove to Disney World together to have some R&R. I spoke to my sister a few days before they left and she made no mention of the trip. To make matters worse, on several occasions while I was in the hospital I expressed to that sister that I wanted the three of us (sisters) to come closer together as a family because I felt that we were no where near as close as we could be as siblings. That was just my opinion, but I see so many other families who laugh together and take small inexpensive family trips together, etc. and I know that we could do that too. She promised me that we would work on our relationships once I returned from my surgery. Well, that is pretty hard to do when they are living it up in Orlando while I am recovering from surgery in Atlanta. Please don’t get me wrong, I think they all had a right to take a vacation to Orlando with their children, We all need to do more of that relaxation, what bothers me is that they did it the week after I returned which means they could have done it during the two weeks I was in Tampa and visited at least one day. It would have meant so much to me. I don’t know of any boss in the country who would not have let them rescheduled their vacation days two weeks ahead of time to visit their sister in the Cancer Treatment Center, but none of them did that. I am very hurt over this and I want to get passed this but need you all’s opinion/help on this. I text messaged my sister my displeasure with what they did and asked them to say Hi to Mickey Mouse for me.
My question for all of you is this…..Am I right to be upset, or am I wrong? How do I get past this because it hurts me to my core. I feel like I am just a piece of trash to them and that I don’t matter. What are your thoughts?

Reality Shows Enough Is Enough

Is there any end in sight to reality television? Don’t get me wrong, there are many reality television shows I enjoy watching, but the number and extent in which they will go to in order to be success and make money are beginning to get outrageous. One of the worse of these shows is called “Cheaters”. Cheaters is a reality television show in which spouses or significant others who suspect their mates of cheating on them hire private investigators on the Cheaters staff to secretly follow around and tape record conversations of the suspected cheater in hopes of finding proof that the person in question is actually cheating on their significant other. This show reveals it all! Hotel room visits, lying telephone conversations, romantic visits in the park, sex in cars, you name it, this show has seen it and shown it on television. The highlight to all of this is when the television show host actually meets with the person being cheated on and shows them footage of the proof they have on the person cheating. As soon as the footage is completed, the show whisks the person off to where the cheater is at with their companion. I probably do not need to tell you what happens next, but let me just say that’s when it gets juicy. There is fighting, hotel doors burst open with people naked or in towels, quiet intimate booths zoomed in on with bright television cameras. It is really kind of ruthless, but it does make for good television.

Some of the better reality shows such as American Idol, Dancing with the Stars, and the Bachelor are some of the good, decent shows, but there are more and more of similar shows popping up on the tube. We all love a good reality show, but at some point enough is just enough and I for one say that it is enough. Please, no more new reality shows until we can at least get accustomed to all of the current ones under our belts and understood first.

By the way, in case you are all wondering, my current favorite reality show is Dancing With the Stars. It was once American Idol, but since Paula’s departure I do not find it quite as interesting. I also get upset at some of the people they pass through into the top twelve. To me, some of the ones passed over are much more talented than some of the ones who make it to the top twelve. I hate that!