Top Ten Biggest Parenting Mistakes

Top 10 Biggest Parenting Mistakes

As the mom to three small children and three adult children, I think I pretty much have this topic covered. If there are any mistakes to be made with parenting children properly, I have probably made at least 95% of them. Not intentionally of course, but I would be lying if I said I never made the same mistake twice. Truth is, I have more than likely made the same mistakes or same type of mistakes at least three or more times…per child. By my calculations, that is at least 19,752 mistakes. Of course, there are some mistakes that I consider minor, and some mistakes I consider major—or as my six year old would say, “Gigantious”. But in my opinion, there are some of the biggest parenting mistakes I have made over the years:

1. When changing a baby boy’s diaper, never lay him on your bed unless you are ready to wash some sheets. I can’t tell you how many times I have made that mistake and spent hours laundering clothing and sheets.

2. Don’t allow children under 10 to have their own phone in their room unless you want the police at your do or every week…especially when you live right next door to the police station. One week the police were at my door literally every other day until finally they told me to get my kids to stop with the 911 calls or I would be fined. After that threat I unplugged the phone in my kid’s room and hid it.

3. Don’t allow your child who is allergic to peanut butter eat any cookies that you don’t bake yourself or are absolutely positive has no type of nuts in it. On our way home from a summer vacation, we stopped at a hotel to use the restrooms. The hotel had little, delicious looking cookies on a plate near the front desk. The hotel clerks invited my children to eat and take one cookie a piece with them. They told us that they were just oatmeal raisin cookies. We got about 30 miles down the highway when I looked at my six year old in the mirror. Her face was swollen with her eyes almost completely shut. Seconds after I noticed that, she began to throw up violently in the backseat. We pulled over to the next gas station and cleaned her and the car up. Upon looking at the half-eaten cookie in the seat, I realized that those delicious oatmeal raisin cookies also contained a secret ingredient nobody told us about…walnuts! I spent the next hour at a gas station cleaning out the backseat and trying to locate clean clothes in the suitcases.

4. Do not try to live your life through your child. There is nothing sadder than a mom trying to force her stage frightened daughter to perform a sing and dance routine for the Little Miss Pageant. There is nothing wrong with having your child try out a variety of different activities to see which one they are good at or gravitate towards, but that is not the same thing as forcing them to take ballet, play soccer, enter into beauty pageants, etc. just because you wish you could have when you were growing up.

5. Do not try to pick their friends for them. It is a law of nature that the minute you say you do not like this friend or that boy or that girl, they will become their best friend. I don’t know why, but the people we do NOT like seem to be a big green flag to them to Love them.
6. Do not compare your children…at least not in front of them. Nothing can damage a child’s self-esteem more than to hear you compare their brains, looks, sports abilities, etc. to their sibling. Each child is different. Each child is a separate individual with their own personality, their own dislikes and likes, and their own strengths and weaknesses. Help them to bring out their strengths instead of focusing on their weaknesses.

7. Your son or daughter is NOT your friend. They are not on your same level, so stop trying to be their friend. They don’t need another friend, they need a parent to guide them and help mold them. How can they take you seriously as their parent if you are crying on their shoulder and giving in to them all the time? Be a parent, not a friend.

8. Trust is one thing, stupidity is another. Why would you allow your 13 year old to spend the night with her best friend who also just happens to be the sister of this guy she has a major crush on. Use your head, what would you do if you were her and given that opportunity?

9. Stick to your guns. Do not make rules only to break them or allow them to be broken. Kids need boundaries. They need rules and structure. They are not going to follow your rules if you keep allowing them to wiggle their way out of the punishment. They are smarter than you think and they know a sap when they see one.

10. This is the biggest one----Have fun with your kids. Don’t take everything so seriously. Yes, you have to set rules, yes you have to be the bad guy sometimes, but that does not mean you can’t have fun with them. You need to find the right balance. They need to be able to open up to you and not be afraid. Insist they respect you, but make sure they are not afraid of you!

bizybee06

The High School Musical Phase

My six and eight year olds are addicted High School Musical. Everytime it comes on television they are glued right there to watch it. They know every song by hard and can be seen on any given day practicing the dance moves from either the first or second movie. Don't get me wrong, I see nothing wrong with them watching High School Musical, I just don't understand why pre-teens and young girls in general go crazy over it. To me, and maybe because I am older and just don't understand kids today, but a great deal of it is boring and corny to me. No offense to the writers and stars of the show, it's making good money so carry on! I just don't understand the craze. On the other hand, I would much rather they be addicted to HSM than to some of these other programs on t.v.

That leads me to another subject, how much television is too much television for kids and do you carefully monitor what they watch? My kids are limited to no more than two hours of television during the week..no exceptions. When they are watching television, it is only the Disney channel or Nickoledeon. We started this practice a couple of years ago and actually still have the locks on all the other channels but find that we really don't need them anymore. They are perfectly content watching Disney and Nick. Under no circumstances are they allowed to watch videos...most are just too raunchy. Unfortunately for me, that means I can't watch them either...bummer!

I am going to be a Grandma!

Yes, that's right, me! With a 2, 6, and 8 year old at home, I found out recently that my 22 year old daughter is pregnant and due in April. Now I must tell you that at first I was just numb. I did not know what to feel about this. You see, I still see her as that little tiny baby I brought home from the hospital 22 years ago. In my eyes she never grew up. What's worse is that she is 600 miles away, I can't even give her a hug right now and tell her how proud I am of her for the type of woman she has turned out to be. I want to tell her to keep her head up and always look forward, don't look back. But I don't want to tell her on the phone, I want to tell her in person...isn't that a little silly? Anyway, I am excited about the birth of my first grandchild. I know that I am going to spoil it rotten and have already asked her to let me keep it for a month or so...of course she said, "No". My last resort is to try and talk her and her husband into moving up here. So far, no go, but this future grandma isn't done yet!

Long Absence. I Love Being a Mom

With school back in session and the many extracurricular activities my kids have been into, I apologize for not having the time to write sooner. But I'm sure most of you understand how it is, things can get really hectic really quick and everything you "planned" on doing just goes right out the window. As moms, we often put our needs and desires last to focus on our children and spouses first. I used to think that it was wrong to do that, that I should attempt to take at least an hour a day and just focus on me, nobody but me. That's what some of the top motivational gurus were saying.."Stop neglecting yourself. Take care of you. Put you first". Well, that just doesn't cut it for me. I put everybody else first (family I mean) and IF there is time at the end of my 18 hour day as mom, chauffeur, carpooler, wife, chef, housekeeper, etc..I try to catch at least 15 minutes of Nancy Grace. I love that show!

Before some of you start snickering and shaking your heads at me for putting everybody else first, let me explain why I do it. Very simply, I love being a mom. I really, truly, relish being a mom. I don't know if this is because I am a little more mature than probably the majority of you, I'm not ashamed to say, I am 40 years old with a 2 year old, 6 year old, and 8 year old, or if I have just come to the realization that this is the best possible job for someone as loving as me. Don't get me wrong, I ain't saying it is a bed of roses, there are times when I just want to go to my room and shut the whole world out, but there are absolutely more good moments than bad. I would not trade it for anything in the world. My goal is to be the best mom in the whole wide world! This includes sacraficing for my children. There is nothing I wouldn't do for them.

That said, I will try really hard to post more often here because I love blogging too. It is actually very calming and very therapeutic. Yes, I believe that is the one "something for me" other than reading the Bible, I will attempt to do every single day. :)

First Day of School Jitters

Today was the first day of school here. Because we were redistricted a few months ago, this was my little girls' first day at their new school. I spent the entire summer worrying about how they were going to do, how were they going to make new friends, would the people at the new school like them, etc. As they walked down the halls to their new classes, my stomach curled up in knots. I felt like I was the new girl in school! Turns out I did all of this worrying for nothing! My girls LOVED their new school, their new teachers, the new cafeteria, and even the new playground! My eight year old even commented on how the playground was "like a jungle".

I don't know why so many of us worry about our kids and their first day of school. We work ourselves into a frenzy and grow a few more grey hairs thinking it will be hard on them when nothing could be further from the truth. If your kids are anything like mine they make friends very easily and they know NO strangers. They don't have the same "clique" and "status" hangups that some adults and teen agers have. For this I am sooooooo grateful. That type of worry will come soon enough for them (unfortunately). For now I am just counting my blessings that I was the only one with tears in their eyes today. :)

How was your children's first day of school?